Read the following sentence. What are the effects of the author's structural choices?
"It was his idea that there is such a thing as a first-hand opinion; an original opinion; an opinion which is coldly reasoned out in a man's head, by a searching analysis of the facts involved, with the heart unconsulted, and the jury room closed against outside influences."
Using this sentence as a model, write one with a similar structure about anything you wish. Post this sentence as a comment on my blog.
It was obvious she was an artist by the colorful splotches and streaks of paint on her clothes.
ReplyDeleteHdutrisac
The young solider finally began packing for his terrifying journey to Iraq after months of volunteer work, day-dreaming, and praying that he will someday come home.
ReplyDeleteGatorade helps to hydrate a person; the electrolytes that completely inundate the liquid itself allows increased flow of oxygen to the brain, and the increased stimulation in the nervous system keeps him energized.
ReplyDeleteDavid C
She danced with utter beauty, with pointed toes, extended legs and arms, and passion flowing through her veins.
ReplyDeleteThough she had hurled her whole heart forward, she lost focus - focus on life - lost her home, her family and, in the end, the one she loved.
ReplyDeleteMecanical pencils are effecient writting utinclis because they provide large quanities of lead and never have to be sharpened.
ReplyDeletePineapples are good; they are sweet, with a nice texture, that can't be compared to any other fruit.
ReplyDeleteI am superman; a man of steel; a man impervious to bullets and physical harm, by a rugged and manly exterior, with a red cape, and the ability to shoot lasers out of my eyes.
ReplyDeleteThe seniors began planning for their senior trip after months of stresing for graduation and years of anxiously waiting to be seniors.
ReplyDeleteI fangirl over Zayn Malik; a member of the British boy band One Direction; whose melodic voice and attractive looks make him the most appealing boy in the band, a boy that any girl would be drawn to.
ReplyDeleteHouston C.
It was the student's idea that there was no such thing as a school; a center of unbiased learning; an education that is strictly intended for the betterment of the individual and also society, society being the reaper of the seeds of knowledge that a school is supposed to sow, the seeds getting lost along the way.
ReplyDeleteNice!!! :D
DeleteHer heart beat for him; her shining light in a dim cave, a last glimpse of hope when all was lost, deserted after a lifetime of toil and despair; all she had left, clinging on to him out of desperation.
ReplyDeleteVery pretty!
DeleteMy cat is friendly, rubbing up against strangers' legs as they pass, meowing affectionately at his feline friends, and purring as I stroke his back.
ReplyDeleteYou could tell that the man has returned from iraq, from his uniform and packed bags.
ReplyDeleteKevin
There was blood everywhere...from the blow of the goalie...with his elbow...to my skull.
ReplyDeleteNick and Drew argued violently over the toilet; the only toilet in the house that still had toilet paper; the only toilet that hadn't been clogged by Jonathan, and Jonathan ate all the food in the kitchen while Nick punched Drew in the arm and locked himself in the bathroom.
ReplyDelete-Jacob
He was exhausted from a busy weekend of endless homework, strenuous hours of working out, and line drills in soccer practice.
ReplyDeleteHouston finally came in contact with the members of One Direction; the upcoming boy band from Britain; after dropping out of school and stalking them for months.
ReplyDeleteNiall Horan pranced about the stage, adding beautiful harmonies and grinning shyly at the adoring crowd.
ReplyDeleteRage finally took over after months of jokes and torment about my sensitive reactions to my little person syndrom.
ReplyDeleteTanner rubs the smelly substance all over his hands, massages his calves, and soaks his arms because of his germx fetish.
ReplyDeleteGood job, you guys! Remember that loose sentences will start with the main point and then elaborate with additional phrases and clauses. This is also called a cumulative sentence; the successive phrases/clauses build on each other lending this structure to precise description and poetic flare. Too many of these in writing can be boring and confusing though, so beware! Use this technique sparingly!
ReplyDeleteShe swung on the swing set, hair wisping about her face like little feathers, world swirling around her, cloaked wings pushing her back and forth, back and forth.
ReplyDeleteIt was then that she first started to wonder why; why was she chosen; why out of all of the people being trained at the school she was the one plucked from her class and sent out into space as the last messenger; the messenger, the one sent to tell the lonely far away planet, infected and diseased, that they were the ones who were going to die.
ReplyDelete" not me" she told herself softly.
He knew from the way that the old man ran his hands through his hair that they were defeated and no one knew, the messengers were coming to end them and they didn't know; they didn't know that there were still undiseased people left on the earth ; they didn't know that they would be killing the innocent not the dangerous; they didn't know, they didn't think, they only acted on orders.
"but maybe this last one, maybe this last messenger will be different somehow"
Tears are the link to ones soul; used for frivolous things; the deepest sorrows, linking people together, one of the most vulnerable exposures.
ReplyDeleteIt was their idea to commit to such a cruel and unusual plot; a combination of their sadistic minds; they plunged the knife into the core of the eye, and with the the help of anothers filthy fingers, the eyelids were pried open, which forced the victim to watch the trauma being inflicted upon him.
ReplyDeleteIt was her life's ambition to go to the olympics; the tournament of world champions; a soul challenging test of determination, strength, grace, dedication, and passion.
ReplyDelete~sam